New (pretty chatty) video about 'how to love yourself' and 9 ways to use self love every day! ALSO I'm vlogging again! But scratch what I said in the video, I won't be creating a separate channel after all 💛 link in bio, babes! // #staybare
To the girls who have been told they are too much, and feel they are thus a burden on the people they love, I am sorry. You did not deserve to feel that way, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘too much.’ Being too passionate, too loving, too kind, too caring, too considerate, too intense…these are all beautiful qualities. And they deserve to be celebrated by the people you love. Anyone who is trying to make you change does not deserve to be a part of your life anymore. In an ideal world, everything about you would be celebrated just the way you deserve. But here’s the sad truth, my darling. Some days you’re going to feel all alone in the world in the way you admire the smallest alchemies of life. You will weep, or laugh, or feel overwhelmed by their beauty and you will feel all alone in it because the one you love and need most isn’t like you. They don’t see the overwhelming beauty like you do, they will not understand why it is affecting you so. Those are the days that are hardest for girls that feel too much. Those are the days where you feel small, or stupid for feeling the amount that you do. Don’t let them take that away from you. Don’t you dare let them lessen your shine because they are incapable of comprehending the beauty of a moment the way you are. Don’t you allow the world with it’s numbness to creep into your soul because no one else seems to feel the amount that you do. You are needed. Girls like you are the kind that people write stories about, girls like you are the kind that take lifetimes to find, girls like you are the kind of loves that people never ever forget. Girls like you are the kind that change history. So for everything that breathes inside you, all that makes you this holy thing that you are, please please do not allow the world to change you.
Let me remind you of something before you begin to read this. You have fire within you. Even if you do not feel like you do, you have the kind of fire that can set cities on fire and anyone who is telling you you do not have the capacity to set the world aflame is lying to you, or is intimidated by your true potential. This is why, my darling, you must never ever fall in love with a man who is still in love with another. I know sometimes you learn of it too late, believe me, I have been there, when you are giving him all your secrets, your great big heart open, letting him into places where no one else has been and yet he remains closed, barricaded, his walls so high that climbing them seems absolutely impossible. And I know you will try. Because girls like you, you love a challenge and when you fall you fall hard and fast, you fall with the intensity of sleet and hail in the worst of storms. But soon, maybe a little too late for your heart, but soon you will learn the reason for those high walls are a woman he has just never been able to forget. You can ask him about her, you will want to learn of this ghost that haunts him, this ghost that he seems unable to forget when he has you who is standing right there, with all of your love in your arms, just waiting to give it all to him. If only he accepts it with willing arms. And he won’t tell you. He won’t tell you a thing about this ghost. He will say it’s because she is in the past, but you just want to learn what she gave him that has closed him to a point that he will not take your love which you are giving him, all of it. Eventually the jealousy will start seeping into you. You’ll find yourself dying inside at the thought of him being openhearted and full to someone else, someone before you. A stranger who you know nothing about other than the fact that he loved her more than he will ever love you. No matter how much love you give to him. She was there first and she open and closed him forever. Do not allow him to treat you this way. If he has high walls, it is not your job to scale them. If he is haunted by her ghost it is not your job to be haunted too, until he gives himself to you. *continued
After you break up with him, remember — Every second of every minute you were with him, you thought of him as God, when he should have been seeing a Goddess in you too. But instead he just saw a girl and that is why it hurts this much. You need to love each other for the humanity within you, or you should love each other like Gods, there is no middle path. The darkest version of this kind of damage is how little you think of yourself right now. And it is because he didn’t want you. But think of all the people who do want you, who think you are special, who think the world of you. They may not be him, but the trouble is, you let him become the sun when you should have let him be human instead. Humans are flawed. No one deserves that pedestal in your head but you. There will always be another boy. But what you should be looking for is a man. The strongest thing about you was the thing he had forgotten to appreciate. And you deserve someone who looks at that very thing about you and respects and admires you greatly for it. He didn’t understand, nor appreciate everything you had given up just to see him smile that day. And who wants to be with someone that doesn’t appreciate you? Even when you said you needed him the most, even when you had given him that third, fourth, fifth chance to make amends, he did not apologise the way he should have to you. and you deserve more than that any day. There is enough kindness and strength in your heart that you will want to give him a third, fourth, fifth chance. Don’t. Not today, not tomorrow, not day after. No one is worth the time and effort, no one other than you for yourself. Start thinking of three things that made you smile today and every day. And remember that without him, there are still things in the world that make you smile. Hold onto that. Do everything you enjoyed when he thought was annoying or simply not good enough, even the smallest things. Feel the freedom of no one telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. Remember the girl you were before you met him. Remember her, with the smiles and the grace and the funny stories that didn’t involve him. Remember her with the strength to get over anything. *continued
Maybe right now I don’t need love. Maybe I still need to expand my horizons, travel across different oceans, meet more people who will inspire me and just have the freedom to choose where to go, who to be and what to do without having another human being to think about. Maybe I still need to learn more about what kind of love I want. Maybe I still need to know if I’m trying to find love or if I’m just trying to understand my heart. Maybe I need more time to figure out what my heart really needs. Maybe I just need to cleanse my heart. Maybe I need to love my heart the way no one knew how. Maybe I need to be for myself everything I’ve been asking people to be for me. Maybe I need to be my person for now. Hold my own hand. Maybe I’m meant to experience more heartbreaks than love because I’m my own security. I’m my own safety. I’m the only one who knows how to calm the chaos in my mind and heal the wounds in my heart. Maybe I’m just meant to kiss my own scars because I’m the only one who knows how deep they are. I’m the only one who knows how much they hurt. Maybe all I need right now is me because I need to work on the relationship with myself. To fix the years I tormented myself. To mend the broken pieces. To reshape myself. To redeem myself. Maybe for now, I’m the one for me because I need to learn how to live with that — all of it. I know I can live with myself forever, I just need to figure out how to make that the most beautiful and most meaningful relationship of my life.
We’ve become so good at leaving. We’ve become so good at quick exits and silent goodbyes. We’ve been taught how to replace people not how to keep them. We’ve been taught how to walk away not how to stay. And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of people not sticking around. I’m tired of people not waiting a little longer. I’m tired of people taking hearts so lightly. I’m tired of people forgetting that we’re all human after all. We’ve become so addicted to the chase, to hustling, to the next best thing, to the bigger house, to the nicer car, to the next destination, to the next big purchase but we’ve forgotten about our next home. Our next family. Our next forever. Our heart. We’ve forgotten that sometimes we’ll face really hard things in life that we just can’t face on our own, we’ve forgotten that strength does not mean we don’t ask for help or a hand to hold, we’ve forgotten that no matter how independent we want to be, we still need people, we still need love, we still need someone to lean on when things get rough. We’ve forgotten that we need to stick around more often. That we need to be more tolerant. That we need to be more patient. We’ve forgotten that love takes time. We’ve forgotten that the basic and simplest first step to finding love is staying. But we don’t stick around anymore, we move on to the next, hoping that we’ll find something worth staying for. Hoping for something better. The truth is — sometimes you will never find what you’re looking for if you don’t stop for a little while and dissect it; the hidden parts, the dark sides and the scars that are rooted deep inside. This is how you see someone’s real beauty, this is how you see someone’s real soul. This is how you fall in love, real love, honest love, but first — you have to stay. You have to stay.
Just because they have left, it does not mean you are a bad person. Apologise to yourself for beating yourself up for their leaving. You deserve better from yourself. Because other people leaving is not something you can control, nor is it your fault. People change, it’s a part of life that they do and most of us can accept this and move on. People are temporary, our mothers have told us this, but its not until you watch how someone has either outgrown you or you have outgrown someone does the full blow of this statement hit you. Sometimes it’s a best friend, sometimes it’s a boyfriend, sometimes its someone you never thought you would outgrow. The truth is the older you get the more people you lose. And if someone does stay, you learn to appreciate them more every single day. The important thing is to recognize this when it happens and appreciate it for what it means. That it’s okay to let go, that’s its all right to say goodbye. It’s a cruel truth within our lives that like the leaves of a tree, love disappears into the wind easily. How do you survive experiencing the most beautiful love and then suddenly finding it diminished or gone? You learn that love is, like sadness, like joy, seasonal. You learn that the only love that truly lasts in the love you hold in your heart for your family, for the chosen few and you forgive others for forgetting you. I want you to remember not to assess your worth by how temporary others have been in your life. Even if someone was wonderful, you need to realise that even wonderful people have the right to walk out of your life. In the same way, you have the right to walk away from a wonderful person because you have outgrown them. Recognising this fact will not just allow you to grow, it will help you breathe freer every single day. Stop assessing your worth by how many people have walked away from you. You have not walked away from yourself yet. And that is what counts most of all.
I'm hungry after an extremely long day and all I can think about is trying this new dish made by my amazing brother @chef_rsingh at @boskto at the @shangrilato -> Halibut | Grapes | Pommes Purée | Onions | Verjus 😍