I use to journal excessively. It was the only way to get through the day. Without it, I know I would be dead. Here's a journal/ poem I wrote exactly three years ago. ----------------------------I'm fading away... I'm fading away and you can't see it. It's so slow, yet so abrupt.- I find myself watching the clock quite often lately. I want this life to be over. The demons of darkness have arrived and I don't know how to uninvite them. Did I invite them even? I don't know. The pain, hurt, lies, aches... It's taken over. Some days I crave this, other days I just want to die. My soul has turned black, ripping at my body. This world consumes me. ~Serena
We're coming on a week of awareness that has shaped my life. #Eatingdisorderawarenessweek is next week & brings light a series of diseases that millions are afflicted with and that are deadly. If my story can touch, encourage, change one individual I call that a success. I have suffered from eating disorders for half of my life. It started with #anorexia , I lost extreme weight in a short time living on under 500 calories a day. After that, it evolved to #bulimia . I have ruptured my esophagus several times, my #metabolism will never be "normal", I suffer from #bodydismorphicdisorder where my body and mind are in constant battle. My life revolves around exercise and food and control. Even now, over a year after my most recent recovery, I have bad days. For years I would throw up between 5 and 50 times a day. It consumes your existence and controls your brain. There are days I relapse and I could choose to dwell on that or start the next day anew with the goal of staying strong and shifting that control to my #fitness and my #macros . My bones are brittle, my body is tired, my body was so deprived of #nutrients for so many years that it will never fully recover. I lived on pills, shakes, starvation, cleanses and it destroyed my body and almost my life. I encourage you to eat real food, to listen to your body and fill it with nutrients not supplements. Cleanses, pills and fads are nothing more than #pyramidschemes aimed at making your "coach" money at your expense. You can have a quick fix but it won't last, those diets are not #sustainable . You only get one body and I don't wish the relationship I have with mine on anyone. I sank into a spiral and I see people selling their b.s. like its healthy and like they are nutrition experts. Fuel your body with real food. Eating disorders control my life, my entire existence. Choose healthy. #eatrealfood#loveyourbody#loveyourself#fadsarelies#nutrition#lifestylenotdiet#eatingdisorder#chooselife#saveyourself#foodnotpills#wholefoods#bodyimage#choosehealthy#recovery#goals#truth#nutritionscams#cleanses#alwaysgrowing @alwaysgrowing_nutrition
Beautiful post and wise words from our US Ambassador.. @leezayurchenkoyogi ❤️❤️#Repost @leezayurchenkoyogi with @repostapp ・・・ My beloved brand @myinnerfire is promoting self-love this month, and they asked all of us to share why we love our bodies. To be completely honest, that is an absolutely alien consept to me, looking for "reasons" to love my body. It is me, a part of me, a vessel that is loving home to my soul in this incarnation. How can I possibly not love it? Because some of it's features are in some way different than those of some other people? But that is just a perseption, it's all in the mind, and has little to do with the actual body. My body is doing the best it can and works hard, sometimes I recklessly overuse or abuse it, and it gives up and needs time to heal, maybe even loses some of it's functions ( my hips and knee injuries ), but that, again, all fault of the "owner", not the body. Sweethearts, please, love your bodies unconditionally. They are a marvelous instrument that holds our souls. Loves, would you like to join #LoveYourBody#LYB2017 movement and share why you love your bodies? @julzycorn.ryt @wendelameraz _____________________________________ 📷 Machine washable mat @bunniesandzen Outfit by Eco-friendly brand @myinnerfire #myinnerfire#innerfireluminary ( use code LeezaYur for 15% discount on your orders on both brands ) #myinnerfire#innerfireluminary
#ultimatereset day 1 #lunch is a microgreens salad, miso soup and toasted pumpkin seeds. This is more food than I'm used to eating at lunch. The only thing I'm missing is my coffee but I know it's what my body needs. #cleaneats#sugardetox
Just living that tax department life during tax season 😅 This week has been tough. Working long hours doesn't leave much time for doing other things I enjoy more (let's be honest, as fun as tax season is....it's not 🙈) Spending time with Jesse + family + friends. Working out. Checking in with my virtual bootcamp group. Coaching. A few months ago I would've let this overwhelm me and constantly be stressed. Now I have learned to take everyday one at a time. Organize my work to get things done but not run myself into the ground or take on more than I can handle each day. My workouts and coaching have become a stress reliever for me outside of my full time job and that is a beautiful thing that I will never take for granted. 💕 What are your stress relievers when school or work or life start to take over?
Great examples of plant based body building. @esqthetic and @domzthompson I have huge respect for these guys. Crushing stereotypes and leading by inspirational example! Compassion is a very admirable trait in people, it tells you so much about the type of person they are💪🏼🌱💚 #respect#compassion#responsible#veganfit#fitguys#veganbodybuilding
Get over that mid-week crisis and join Amity this afternoon for #yogasculpt ! 💪🏼 // 4PM! 🔹3:30PM - circuit with @coltonwalker33 . 🔹5:15PM - hot yoga flow 1 with @tiffanysandraa. 🔹5:30PM - barre with @lachachas. 🔹6:30PM - hot detox flow with @caitlintulip
Omg!!! This lunch is the 💣.com!!! Cupcake ice cream 🍦 absolutely guilt free.. Jam packed with nutrients, vitamins, superfoods! My dream came true to have big ass bowl of ice cream for lunch and feel good about it 😜
#Repost @curvy_harmony with @repostapp ・・・ Según tu opinión, que es lo más difícil que deben afrontar las mujeres de talla grande? Lo mas difícil que afrontan las chicas de tallas grandes, curvie o plus size es que se han enfocado en la ropa negra y cero diseños...cuando hoy día hay tantas opciones sin pasarnos en lo fashion o bonito hay muchas que nos les gusta mostrar sus brazos pero puedes colocarle un chal tejido fresco y así no dejas de lucir bella. Cómo es mi lema "LA MODA NO INCOMODA" en la última colección de mi tienda, me enfoqué muchísimo en vestidos de encajes y colores fuertes amarillos, verdes, estampados de flores y no dejando de ser sexy con hombros al descubierto, la moda off shoulder, todas tenemos derecho a sentirnos hermosas y no por tener unas libras de mas olvidarnos que somos unas preciosas obras de arte. Mira la entrevista completa @marypazmino de @tksgodpty en el link de mi bio. #StayInCurvyHarmony#CurvyHarmony#Entrevista#Interview#BodyPositive#BodyConfidence#LoveYourself#LoveYourBody
What are your beliefs around health and fitness? What are your goals around health and fitness? Are they realistic to this point in your life? Do you have a support system? Are you aware of your habits? Are you willing to change? To be uncomfortable? ••••• Charmaine was willing, took the leap into my 20 Day challenge and this was her response: ••••• "I learned that I'm capable of doing this. That's huge for me, I always let myself make excuses before. No more excuses, just do what needs to be done. Not perfect, but I'm eating healthy, I'm moving MUCH more, and it feels so good. My mood is better and for the first time I feel like I can actually envision a healthy-weight and lifestyle ME. It's achievable. Looking forward to the next 6 weeks!" - Charmaine. ••••• Join me for 20 days of freedom, laughter and SUSTAINABLE CHANGE - Registration ends Feb 27th at noon PST. ••••• It's not just about the food and exercise my friend. Find out more through the link in my bio 👆🏽😘 #perfectbodynotrequired
OK. Real talk time. I really struggle with my body. All my life I've been told that fat can't be beautiful and that no one will love me if I'm fat and that I have yo cover up my body when I'm fat. I know in my head that none of those things are true and yet on a daily basis I struggle and fight to remember this. I'm going on holiday in a few weeks. My first holiday in years. I'm going to LA. And I couldn't be more excited. And yet, I've already had not one, but two panic attacks just thinking about my body and photos and outfits and how I'll look next to my skinny minny friend that I'm going with. I'm so conscious of the fact that I want to wear cute outfits and feel amazing and yet I find it hard to feel amazing in my clothes. I want to be able to buy some cute new clothes and yet clothes for my size are expensive and I can't afford new things. I want to have lots of pictures taken of me and yet I don't like having my picture taken for fear of looking too fat. I'm just struggling with the whole process of choosing outfits and feeling good. And a holiday should be where i can relax and feel good. Not stress as I'm getting dressed each day. I gotta tell myself I'm beautiful exactly how i am every day until I believe it for real. Sorry. Rant over.