Happy sunny evening lovelies 💜 Enjoyed this beautiful selfmade vegan Vanilla-Blueberry curd with some fresh kiwi, more blueberries, mini coconuts, cacao nibs + mulberries after a sunny walk - again #HEAVENINAJAR 🌸 How did you enjoy this beautiful weather today? ☀️ ___ Guten Abend ihr lieben! Auch wenn das Wochenende sich dem Ende neigt, hoffe ich, dass ihr den Sonntagabend noch in vollen Zügen genießt! Was habt ihr heute schönes gemacht? ☺
(English version in the comments) Hey ihr! Mein Tag wurde leider nicht wirklich besser. Ich habe wirklich versucht, etwas zu finden, das mir Freude macht. Wenigstens irgendeine Beschäftigung, die mich etwas ablenkt. Ich habe PC-Kram erledigt, gelesen, Instagram, mich mit meinem Kater beschäftigt, saß in der Sonne, habe etwas geputzt. Nichts konnte meine Stimmung bessern. Allgemein habe ich mich einfach gefühlt, als wäre ich gar nicht richtig anwesend. Schwer zu erklären aber ich denke, einige von euch kennen das auch. Man macht etwas aber fühlt absolut nichts dabei. Und auch der Blick ist irgendwie so unscharf. Ich kann mich auch gerade unglaublich schlecht konzentrieren, verliere dauernd den Faden und habe Schwierigkeiten, klar zu denken. Ich muss jeden Satz, den ich schreibe, 5 mal durchgehen, um ihn halbwegs vernünftig zu formulieren. Dazu kam heute, dass es mir auch körperlich nicht gut ging. Der Schwindel wollte gar nicht verschwinden. Ich bin mir recht sicher, dass er von einem meiner Medikamente ausgelöst wird aber auf das will ich auf keinen Fall verzichten, weil ich ohne absolut gar nicht schlafen kann. Keine Ahnung. Ich bin allgemein auch einfach geschwächt. Aber ich will mich nicht beschweren. Das hat man mal und es ist einfach auch nicht dramatisch. Ich versuche gerade noch, etwas positives an dem Tag zu finden, weil ich das jetzt hier nicht so stehen lassen will. Auch für mich selbst nicht. Also. Positiv ist: - Es geht mir immerhin noch weit besser als in anderen Phasen - Ich habe den Tag auch so überstanden - Ich habe das kuscheligste Kätzchen der Welt. 🙈 Ja. Soweit erstmal. Ich hoffe einfach, dass morgen wieder besser wird. Diese Tage, an denen die Zeit auch einfach nicht vergehen will, sind für mich echt ganz schwer auszuhalten. So oder so gibt's gleich Abendessen und Mediathek. Habt einen guten Abend, ihr Lieben 🌹
This might be a bit surprising after my last posts but it’s also why I want to share it with you. Yesterday evening something started to go downhill. And today has been really wobbly. A part of it is that I’m insanely hungry and it doesn’t seem to get better no matter what. This still makes me feel very insecure and exhausted. These are the days I somehow can’t connect with myself, as if there was a door that has been shut and locked. I start getting this weird way of looking at myself, as if I was far away. As if my body was someone else’s. I’m so overwhelmed with what I feel because I can’t really tell what it is. These are the days I would like to not get up at all. I want time to pass as fast as possible but at the same time everything is going too fast and I really need to take a break. I have high urges to move, just move, move. Do something. Be productive. And at the same time all I want to do is letting myself fall and give in. So yes, I have bad days too. They come out of nowhere, totally unexpected and hit with full force. Make me feel disgusting, useless and empty. Incredibly insecure and irritated, weak and lost. But that’s okay too. It’s okay to struggle and it’s also okay to reach out for help (or just attention!). I know that what helps me is to talk to someone, to not bottle up my feelings or isolate myself. So that’s what I did, I had a long talk with my mother and even if she was surprised that I’m not as well as she believed me to be, she was totally understanding and it made me realise that what I’m feeling today is just as valid and important as the joy I experienced in the last days. And today doesn’t make yesterday less good, nor does it mean that tomorrow can’t be wonderful! . . . #edrecovery#recovery#realrecovery#anarecovery#anorexiarecovery#recoveryisworthit#recoveryispossible#edsoldier#fightingana#eatingdisorder#foodisfuel#eatittobeatit#nourishnotpunish#bitebybite#kickanansass#2fab4ana#anawho#recoverymotivation#recoveryinspiration#happynothungry#healthynothungry#selflove#bodyacceptance
The weather today was so gorgeous, and after a walk up Arthur's Seat, all I wanted was ice cream! This is a win in that I've had something sugary every day for the past 2 weeks so I'm overcoming that fear, and I've also wanted to try these Oreo ice cream sandwiches for AGES. But the downside is that I actually wanted a magnum, but saw that these have less sugar content... anyway, super yummy, and now I have a supply of these at my boyfriend's house for when I visit. Extreme hunger is still raging, which sucks, but I can now be less active seeing as I'm back in the UK and not auditioning for anything, which will help!
I tried a beyond bar for afternoon snack..it was really good! it kinda tasted the same as the rude health pumpkin bar thooo had another great day so far today..the weathers been soo nice so I had a long walk along the beach with my family..despite the wind😅 then just spent the afternoon watching movies with my lil bro..trying not to feel lazy..but it's Sunday..they're for relaxing!!
Made some cauliflower-soup for the first time in a looong time! ☺️ have been kind of scared of being in the kitchen because it's so many b/p-triggers there, but I think I'm getting better at avoiding the triggers and only eat the meal I'm supposed to eat. 🌮
Happy Sunday lovelies! This was breakfast yesterday lol cause yo girl was up at 7 to fit in a nice full-body lift before rehearsalx3 and work until 9:30 tonight 😏 RIP to my body and mind imma be so tired going into the week 😭 butttt that's ok cause even though I'm tired it is a good day to have a good day ya know?! I'm gonna MAKE it a good day. And you should too :) ok mini ramble over thank you for tuning in 👍🏻
2 years ago I was a freshman girl in a private high school with plenty of friends and plenty of attention. I couldn't attend every party because I had training, but I tried. I went to football games in my skating clothes and almost fell asleep in the stands since I had training that morning before school. I missed weeks of school with competitions and spent every minute between training sessions doing make-up work. Last year I was a sophomore, I was popular and had a killer body, after losing some weight that summer and working out more. I became more in love with skating and our training was more intense. That year I got my first boyfriend. I was so busy going from training to football games, to my boyfriends house, then waking up again for morning skating. I thought I was exhausted then, but then I developed an ed. I later became distant from my friends since I could only pick so many things to dedicate my time to. My grades suffered and I suffered. This crazy life was too much. This year I do online school. Maybe I don't go out every night, or have a boyfriend or get to go to prom, but I've been able to dedicate my time to myself and my sport and my training, which I have loved. My life is incredibly different, and will be even more different once we move to a new state and new training facility, but I'm so grateful to live such a unique lifestyle and be able to do what I love and be passionate about something! #realcovery#healthyisnotasize#beated#edwarriors#everyBODYisbeautiful#nourishnotpunish#loveyourself#acceptance#choosehappy#happyandhealthy#health#bopo#positivity#itsworthit#eatittobeatit#prorecovery#strong#fitspo#athlete#girlathlete#teenathlete#nutrition#foodisfuel#blogger#fighter#fitfam#girlgains#healthisnotasize
First break since breakfast 😴😥 (Oh my gosh it's already dinner time? 😱😱😱) So will have some real meal afterwards 😅 As I had savory breakfast I craved chocolate now 😋🍫 Ordered this protein bar along with all the other things and saved it for a special occasion but uhm well why? This special day won't come as I always will find a reason because a day isn't special enough. But stop it now 💪 Still this is a "special" day because I am already at the conclusion of my term paper. Which is good as I was quite fast and writing was easy for me but a bit "bad" because I am at page 13 and introduction and conclusion shouldn't be longer than one and a half page each so I will come at around 15/16 pages which isn't that much as the papers should be around 15-20 pages. My professor said it would be more than okay if the paper isn't that long but I should get at least at 16 pages. I already added some more at each chapter but I don't like brabbling to much as we should get on point and only write the relevant things but with only the relevant things I wouldn't even come around 13 pages 😅 There are some papers I could write way more than 15 pages but also some i can't get to 20 pages. Oh well. Will get some more books for the footnotes so maybe that will add some pace 😂 How are you all? #awareness#edrecovery#eatingdisorderrecovery#recovery#eatingdisorder#ed#ednos#fightback#gethealthy#strongnotskinny#tiredofthisshit#prorecovery#realrecovery#eatittobeatit#recoveryisworthit#mentalhealth
#tb to this delicious bowl of sweet berry-oats.. # so cause many of you asked how I make my daily oats here is this really easy and quick recipe: 50-60gr oats vanilla essence 1 tb psyllium seed husk 1 tb chai-seeds 2-3 tb agave syruo or coconut-sugar 4dl-5dl of almondmilk These are just the main ingredients. So just try to be creative and add some fruits, granola, seeds or whaterver you like.. 💕🌞 And I always blend my oats befor adding them to a pan. So they get really creamy and nice! Let them cook until the consistency is how you prefer it! 🌞❣️
Wie heißt es so schön: “Sunday is runday!“ 🏃auf dem Bild die ungeschönte Wahrheit nach meinem #sundayrun#nofilter 🙊 heute war das Wetter so traumhaft, dass es eine wirklich gut investierte Stunde war, einfach mal Kopf frei und Sonne tanken ☀ für mich war es heute mein persönlicher Streckenrekord, seitdem ich wieder regelmäßig laufe 🙌 auch wenn es nur kleine Fortschritte sind und manchmal vielleicht auch ein Schritt zurück zu machen ist, sollte man niemals aufhören. Immer ein bisschen mehr, aber alles hat seine Zeit. So hat mich sie liebe @jennifer_berg_ motiviert und ohne sie hätte ich heute bestimmt eher aufgehört, danke!! ❤
Hallööö und einen tollen Sonntag erstmal 🙋 Zum Mittag gab es das 🔝 heute ist so tolles Wetter ☀ da steigt bei mir für alles die Motivation, bin eben doch ein Sommerkind 😇 jedenfalls habe ich heute angefangen meine Möbel zu streichen, die ich mit in meine neue Wohnung nehmen möchte. Als erstes musste mein Spiegel daran glauben, jetzt ist er nicht mehr grün, sondern weiß 😊 ich kann euch gar nicht sagen, wie krass ich mich auf meine eigene Wohnung freue 😍 ab morgen bin ich dann für 8 Wochen in einem neuen Bereich eingesetzt, mal sehen, wie es wird 🙂 Genießt noch schön den Nachmittag und tankt Vitamin D 😁
. Dinner: indian tikka masala with rice . This was my favorite pre ED food. I could have eaten it everyday. Back then we used to have nan bread with honey on the side, but I'm not quite here yet. It is still amazing to be able to have Indian again now, I truest loved it. Now it's back to knitting and less thinking, today I'm not gonna get more stitches.
Unofficially only one more sleep, ONE! Can you believe it? I actually can't, honestly speaking haha. Anyways, how's your Sunday? Did you have a nice weekend? I came back from the zzzz-mode, love being a lady. I still have a million things to do and recheck but I managed to cook something instead of just microwaveing it. Adding ketchup too. Dinner is nice. Life is good. Have a good evening everyone!♡